Short Story: What happened to all the love?

What happens when the person that you love, does not die, leave but is simply lost. What happens with the love that you shared? Where does it go? Does love find news homes in new souls, or does the love inside you change alter, mutate become something other? Does it disappear slowly over time, leaking from your pores like water, before the well finally runs dry? Or does it shift from one person to the other, a new love taking the place of where the old love was, replacing the stored memories with new ones? I can’t justify loving someone that is lost, nor can I justify not loving someone that is here, so where is it, all that love that was shared?

I can say that I love him still; his departure did not teach my heart to forget. I can say that I know what it means to love. I would say I felt regret about being heartbroken now that the object of my affection is gone but I don’t, my heart is delusional in its patience as if he will return, breathing new life into this love affair I have paused since his departure. My mind understands, it does not accept but it understands. But my heart, hopeless and illogical, stubborn in its inability to see reason is patiently waiting, a timer not set, no end date required. But time will not wait for me, and though my heart is steadfast my head knows the truth.

Though the truth is slowly fracturing my heart, I will not bring myself to remember the past with regret. I have been in love and have been loved, wholly unconditionally and without restraint. I have loved and been loved deeply without abandon, cared for so sweetly that my soul has been imprinted upon. This phenomenon is rare. I know what I had was real. Even if I was only able to taste heaven for a moment, I am a believer for life, I have been converted. Even though only I know, even though I have no discernable evidence, I believe. I have lived in that feeling for an infinite moment.

Is it enough to believe in love, even if you are no longer in it? You have seen Heaven, but now you are on earth once more, so is it enough? Is it enough to know that it exists even if you can’t have it ever again? What is the point of love if when you scour the world forever you may only be a silent witness. Or is love, akin to a treasure map, a wondrous prize we hope to find one day, never really knowing what we will do when we reach the X on the map, is love about the possibility, about the hope of it.

When I was in love, I was afraid and content. The emotions warring within me. Part of me was afraid of how much I had given of myself to another person, and how much I still wanted to give. How integral they had come to my way of life, how they had woven themselves into the fabric of my existence, my happiness a fragile ball they protected just as much if not more than I had. I was astounded and suspicious. If love felt like this why wasn’t everyone falling? I knew the answer before I had even asked the question; to be in love was to be afraid, because this person, this piece of your soul could leave, or die or break you in ways that you would never recover. It is terrifying, and the more you feel the more afraid you become, but your heart does not cease loving because of fear, and I found that John Donne was right, winter will not abate the springs increase. There is no capacity for love, it just keeps expanding and expanding, the heart forever growing, gorging on the love it keeps taking, its appetite insatiable. It can’t stop, it won’t stop and a part of you marvels at the feeling. A little slice of heaven, immortal in our love for each other.

I was content because here I had what everyone was looking for and I had found it almost accidently, without really searching. It wasn’t happiness, although there was a lot of that or sadness though there was some of that. Love to me is being perfectly content. My body at an equilibrium where it wants for absolutely nothing because it had found it in him. He wasn’t perfect and nor was I but somehow we had found peace and I was content.

Even though I lost him, my love, our love is everlasting. That love that we shared was soul deep. I can convince my mind that he is gone, my heart may never believe, but my soul? That I have no control over, that is his, there is a space inside my soul that will always be his no matter who I end up with. He will own a piece of my soul and I will own a piece of his.

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary part 8

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Shosana couldn’t breathe, the air was so thin this high up, and his hand was still around her neck. She felt so mortal, so weak in the face of the power he had just displayed and she felt herself passing out, but she held onto her consciousness by sheer force of will, she wouldn’t pass out before she actually died.

“Do it. I’m going to die anyway!” She gritted out.

Again surprise on his face, followed by confusion and she felt a moment of darkness before they were back in her room.

“Release her,” a voice from the door said.

Shosana was released so fast that she barely had time to find her footing and almost ended up toppling over.

To her complete surprise she saw Seth drop to his knees as he turned his head to the left. Shosana followed his gaze and saw nine individuals cloaked in darkness. Darkness was the only word she could think of because like the sun she couldn’t seem to make direct eye contact with them. The power they wore like a second skin was too much for her mortal eyes to bear; even the higher angel was having trouble keeping his gaze on them. Shosana felt her knees buckle of their own accord as though her body knew she was in the presence of true power.

The nine made their way forward.

‘Archangels,’ Shosana thought to herself, oddly she didn’t feel afraid, despite the power radiating off the nine in waves, she could only stare in wonderment as she watched the Archangels advance.

Shosana mouth dropped open as one of the archangels took a step forward separating from the group slightly. A hood lowered seemingly by magic and the face that was revealed had Shosana taking a step forward even as she gasped.

“My daughter,” the Archangel who had the same strange shade of violet eyes that Shosana had clearly inherited said and she reached out a hand, but before she could close the distance the other archangels surrounded the woman again.

Shosana looked for her mother in the group unable to differentiate one from the other.

“You may live Shosana, half-breed angel, daughter of one of the nine.” The Archangels said as one, then they turned to Seth, who gained his feet in one fluid motion. “Higher Angel Seth, you are charged with training Shosana.”

“The nine have spoken,” The Archangels said as one.

“So their will shall be carried out,” Seth replied quietly inclining his head.

Before Shosana could voice a complaint the Archangels disappeared. She stood rooted to the spot until Seth walked forward.

He stared at her for a long moment then nodded towards the door before walking out.

Shosana followed the Higher Angel into Heaven.

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary part 7

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“You can’t just keep me here!” Shosana said trying to appear angry, despite how much her voice was shaking. He was going to kill her; she could almost taste her death in the air as his wings unfurled before snapping back again as if his patience was starting to slip.

“You can’t keep me here!” She repeated when the murderous look in his eyes had subsided a fraction, “it’s against the Universal code,”

“You mean the codes we helped write?” There was a deadly edge to his voice, his gaze if possible growing even more intense.

“So,” she cleared her throat, “do as I say not as I do.”

He blinked and looked almost startled, she felt a little surprised herself, she was talking back to a higher angel; it felt so surreal that the need to laugh almost overcame her.

“You should have care in the way you address me,” he said it softly, the words almost a caress, if you discounted what he had said and the look in his eyes.

“Or what?” she said unable and unwilling to not have her say despite knowing that her death had been guaranteed by her birth, “I’m dead either way, you say your archangels are discussing my death, more like the method in which I will die and –” Her voice was cut off by a strong hand around her throat. His wings spread, filling the room with darkness, with such power, that she was rendered speechless and reminded too late that she was speaking to no ordinary angel. A higher angel, one clearly trained in combat, one who could kill her with less than a thought, one who could – they were airborne.

Flying up through the mural on the ceiling, they kept climbing higher and higher. Shosana felt a moment of awe as she glimpsed Heavens skyline before they flew even higher, and came to a stop when her only view was distance planets and Havens nine moons.

“Maybe I should drop you, since your life is so worthless.”

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary part 5

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The eleven angels landed as one, walking forward in formation. Higher Angel Seth led the procession with, the other warrior Angels flanking him on either side. Seth felt their combined power part the very air, their quarry, the being that had been a whisper, a shadow, a liability that could not be allowed to exist, was inside the modest two-story building. After searching for years, a programme he had heard of only in passing had yielded the secrets he needed.

Higher Angel Seth glanced up at the Galactic Confessionary and had to smile. She had been hiding in more than plain sight, casting her voice on the very radio waves.

They reached the entrance and paused.

‘I will go in alone, surround the building, no one leaves,’ He thought to the others.

They all nodded.

‘Make sure the device is active so no one can teleport out.’ Then he turned and directed his thoughts only to his second in command; Warrior Angel Cassandra. ‘If I don’t come out in thirty-five minutes, get reinforcements, do not enter without another higher angel.’

She nodded once.

Satisfied he entered the building alone.

With a thought he sent every living person inside the confessionary into a deep slumber except of course the one he sought. She was seated inside the booth, her heart rate a little elevated her thoughts difficult to decipher. Seth, like all angels could read people’s thoughts, but his special ability gave him a skill above others because he could also hear the thoughts of his fellow angels whether they liked it or not, only the strongest minds could keep him out and it seemed that the half-breed was amongst that exclusive club that could keep him out.

Seth walked into the booth and sat down, hiding his wings from view.

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary part 4.0

Yin and Yang

“It surprised me when I realised what had happened, such a slow then suddenly immediate process love is. I was in the middle before I realised I had even began, worse was that I felt her love for me. A love she too was consciously unaware of, as though our hearts had been conspiring in secret.”

“We embarked upon a love affair we knew was doomed from the start, unable and unwilling to do anything else but love each other. I knew it was wrong, no I was told it was wrong, but I knew, I knew nothing in my existence could compare, could ever come close to the feeling of when she looked at me with love in her eyes. I cannot and will not deny the purity of love.”
Zachary paused for such a long time that the confessionary that according to the higher angels didn’t exist spoke.

“Angel, you know they are coming for you,” she whispered softly in Rubarian, “run, you must run, whatever the soul claims, the higher angels will never allow such a union to exist openly.”

“It is why you are here on Hoxcer?”

“Hoxcer for all its problems is a planet that merely judges you on your personality, uncaring of anything else but that, and that for me is everything. To be accepted for who I am, not what I am. You and I both know how rare such a thing is even in the most advanced and seemingly civilised planets.” The confessionary said.

Zachary’s brow furrowed as déjà vu hit him, the confessionary reminded him of someone.

“What is your name?”

“Shosana,” She said softly. “Why do you ask?” she paused, “Do you? Do you know my parents?”

The partition opened and he saw her face without the haze.

Zachary unbelieving of what his yes saw blinked and leaned forward. “Your mother is higher angel –”

A noise disturbed the words he would have spoken as they both looked to the left.

“They have breached the outer perimeter, you must run Angel!” Shosana said urgently.

Zachary still reeling from the discovery of her origins nodded and activated the telepad, he spared one last look at the half angel before teleporting himself home.

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary part 4

Yin and Yang

Zachary had been sat in the booth for almost an hour. Outside the confessionary was exceptionally usually busy with people picketing that the confessionary give up the location of the unknown woman who had sought to consort with an angel. Despite the angels not formally or officially coming out to confirm anything, the people in the surrounding galaxies had rallied. Nothing brought people together like a good witch hunt.

Zachary had paid for almost five hours. The man at the front had almost dropped the Heavian jewels Zachary had dropped onto his lap, unbelieving that he held one of the most precious jewels in the known galaxies.

Zachary straightened in the surprisingly comfy seat when he heard her approach, the being that by stepping forward could ruin everything the higher angels had always preached. But Zachary hadn’t come here to drag her into the limelight she so stoutly avoided. He had come to confess.

“Good Morning,” the voice said in the universal language, her tone pleasant and unintentionally compelling.

How anyone after having head her voice could believe her to be anything but an angel was beyond him. Yet he was still amazed anew that she even existed.

“Good Morning,” Zachary responded in the universal language, then added in a lower tone so only her ears would hear; “it is nice to finally meet you.”

She sucked in a breath and Zachary felt himself being stared at intently through the partition.

“So it is true,” she whispered.

“It is indeed,” he said slowly, and hesitated; once he spoke out loud the truth the higher angels would be here in a matter of moments closely followed by every vigilante, good Samaritan and concerned citizen. But he was ready for every eventuality, it was the reason he had come so early, to step up a small telepad inside the booth, he would teleport directly out of the booth and into Haven itself.

Short Story: Galactic Confessionary

Welcome to Galactic Confessionary – where for a small fee you can unload all your secrets, judgment not included in the price.

maxresdefault2-696x392Magnus read the sign on the door with ambivalence, he didn’t know what he was doing, he hated places like this, but then who else could he talk to about something this…he searched for the right word – delicate. Yes the situation was delicate. On his home planet of Ganzar, he would be detained for the knowledge he held, but here on Hoxcer, a planet that courted it lawlessness he was fine. He could share this secret that had been haunting him for weeks and could very well haunt him forever.

Magnus stepped into the booth.

“Welcome,” an appealing feminine sounding voice said in the universal language, “please feel free to begin whenever you are ready, you have purchased thirty minutes, it starts now.”

Magnus nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see.

He took a deep breath and nothing came out, he was a little surprised to find himself nervous, he knew that the Galactic confessionary was played on the radio waves, and despite his disguise and paying in jewels that were untraceable he hesitated.

“Don’t worry,” the voice said softly, “there is no judgment here but the one you pay for.” It was said almost kindly that he almost believed her.

“Sure.” Magnus said slowly.

Then as if suddenly made conscious of the time he began speaking.

“My wife, my ex,” he shook his head, “she’s not my ex she’s my late wife, my late wife.” He took a deep breath.

“My wife was having an affair, I suspected, strongly suspected, so I had her followed, nothing, I put bugs around the house, still nothing, I took leave from work, and I still couldn’t catch her, she was good, very careful.” He said with a small smile, even in death he was still drawn to her ingenuity and cunning.

“Two solid weeks and nothing. I had to go back to work, going half-crazy thinking there was something wrong with me, I was too paranoid, too mistrusting but I’m a –” he stopped mid-sentence, almost revealing what plane he was from, he took a deep breath, “basically, my instincts are never wrong.”

“Never?” The voice said in surprise.

Magnus started at the voice, so altered from the cool indifference she had previously spoken with before.

“Never.” Magnus said with confidence, and he waited a moment trying to edge closer to the partition to see the face that belonged to the voice, but a kind of haze had been put on her so she seemed to shift and move.

“So, as I was saying, my instincts are never wrong, I knew she was cheating I just didn’t know how. Last week, I was on my way to a friend in another galaxy but I’d forgotten my compass, I went back, and I witnessed her murder. Or rather her death. The distinction is very important because on my home planet; murder is punishable by murder the only exceptions are proven cases of self-defence, sanctioned revenge and proven cases of genuine accidents.” Magnus paused.

“Her lover, a Santarian, a true teleporter, hence why I never caught her, is to be murdered for her death, because he was found with her. He pleads innocent, no one believes him because no one was there, except me. I saw the whole thing, and he is right, it was an accident. She tripped and fell he didn’t push her. And a better man than me would come forward as a witness.”

“But you’re not a better man.” The voice said.

“No judgment.” He said calmly.

“Sorry, do go on.”

Magnus gave her a look.

“The Earthlings call it karma, who am I to get in the way of it.”

“If it was truly karmic justice, then you would not have witnessed it, providing him with a means to escape his sentence of certain death.” The voice said gently.

“Well you’re just full of judgment aren’t you?” Magnus said with a small smile.

“My apologies, if you want I can charge you extra.” It was said coolly, but Magnus could almost detect a smile.

“Then tell me what to do.”

“I don’t need to because you already know.”

Magnus nodded and made to leave, just as she whispered.

“Goodbye, Ganzarian.” She paused and switched to Gandour. “For a race that is thought of as the proudest in the galaxy you seem almost decent.”

“Coming from you, who I suspect is an Angel or at least a half-breed; that might be the nicest compliment I’ve ever had.” Magnus said before he walked out.