Short Story: Why don’t we fall in love anymore?

Image result for love bridge in paris

This generation is apparently, impatient, well connected, but still so incredibly lonely, which is why despite the multitude of social media platforms and dating website, true love is still an elusive dream. It’s why we no longer fall in love, but the truth is we never really did, not really. We fell in lust, mistook it for love then coasted into friendship, but true love, the kind that is whispered before it disappears. Most of us don’t know what it is, and what is worse is, though we search for it, we don’t really want to find it, not really, we wouldn’t know what to do with it. Or we would convince ourselves it wasn’t real before letting it go.

Do we fear something so special that it is easier to convince ourselves it doesn’t exist instead of looking or believing, and belief is a difficult thing, because suspending our analytical overly critical and sceptical minds is beyond most of us, we want proof, and even if we are presented with it, we dismiss it as a fluke and ask for more. I would liken it to if 99.99 per cent of the population was blind and that 0.01 per cent could see, convincing the masses that there was another sense, would be challenging, almost all would be sceptical to the point of disbelief, others would be cautiously optimistic but in their heart of hearts still not believe such a thing were even possible.

I didn’t believe in love as a teenager, I thought it was good for stories, poems and films, but in the real world there was no space for something so fanciful, that was until I saw it. A couple changed my opinion almost instantly, and I knew as I saw them together I was witnessing something magical, my heart was racing and I was only a witness, stepping in to their bubble of happiness for an instant so I could taste Heaven and be assured of its existence. I believed and for the next few days I was euphoric over my find, energised by the couples love for each other and I wondered if that was attainable why wasn’t everyone clamouring to take a piece of that extraordinary experience for themselves? I realised that love was like a fairy, you need to believe in love in order for it to appear to you, but unlike a fairy, love doesn’t require your belief in it to validate its existence – it will exist with or without you.

Most people want to believe but they simply don’t and the others that do, are delirious in their happiness and their fortune and despite this they still find it difficult to validate and proof it to others. Why? Because it sounds far-fetched, a fantasy, fantastical, too good to be true, they wouldn’t believe it themselves if they weren’t living it.

But I believe, so why wasn’t love immediately available to me. I came to the realisation that love exists it’s just not available to everyone. The reasons for this varies from person to person but the prevailing one that I have seen time and time again is that we are afraid.

It is this fear that holds most people back from even trying, or giving it their all when they do try. Love like everything else in life has to be fought for. Coming in with pre-conceived notions, or a dossier of demands is not going to work, there is no list or winning formula, it’s abstract because you fall. Like Dr Seuss said it is like falling asleep, you have to work towards it and allow a little bit of uncertainty to enter your life in order to fall, there is no safety net or harness a certain level of trust and openness must be had.

We are afraid of being open because it leaves us vulnerable. There is safety in sadness and misery or even indifference. Love is chaotic, complete with fluctuating feelings, differing attitudes, it is messy, but more importantly it is fragile because your happiness your wellbeing is no longer solely yours to control, your happiness is in the hands of another, and though you say you trust them a part of you doesn’t want to hand over the reins.

We don’t fall in love anymore but we should. Falling in love requires falling. It doesn’t always require some serendipitous moment, though that can happen. Most of the time true love is slowly building a foundation of trust, respect and companionship to reveal the diamond that is love underneath. It doesn’t sound as sexy as love at first sight, but it’s by far more beautiful and sustaining.

 

Short Story: You are a customer lying face down on the floor during a bank robbery. Describe the robbery from this vantage point.

You are a customer lying face down on the floor during a bank robbery. Describe the robbery from this vantage point.

The cold marble was making my ear numb and the fixed position I had to hold my body in was giving me a cramp and yet I felt oddly calm, strangely euphoric. I held my body still as one of the three armed men walked past me, his boots brand spanking new, size nine, dark brown laces. I looked up carefully, he was probably my height, 5’10, slim, a mask over his face, but not his ears, pale a little red at the tips. I quickly looked at the other three guards. Their ears exposing their race to me.

My mind pinged as I looked at all three of them again; they had been eating at the café across the road for almost a month. I had spoken to one of them a few times. I could help the police when they interviewed me later. The police who had burst open my door a few nights ago because they had gotten an address wrong, terrified my student who I was tutoring who had been thrown against the floor, a gun to his cheek, as the police had torn my apartment inside out, searching for someone who was never there, before I, who they had put into handcuffs, had been able to explain to them, that 4a the apartment they were looking for was across the street, I was 4a1. A common mistake, one that could have been easily rectified if they had listened from the beginning.

I could anonymously help the bank. The same bank that had refused to grant me a loan to start my tutoring business, a business that had been taking off before the police had put a gun to one of my students, making all the parents rightfully stop bring their children to my house.

Abruptly I was furious and my mind again presented me with a plan to profit from my present situation.

I stood up, clutching my chest. The armed robbers came up to me immediately.

“Take me to the toilet, I will help you,” I said clearly whiles portraying someone in distress to the other thirty seven hostages.

They looked at each other and one of them raised his gun.

“Eggs benedict, hash brown, two sausages, baked beans, three brown toasts.” I said quickly meeting the eyes of the man who had raised the gun, before continuing with the theatrics again.

I was immediately walked to the toilet.

I quickly told them about my plan.

“Where the hell did you learn how to crack safes,” pink ears said, “you talk weird as well, are you like rain man or something.”

“I’m a tutor, one of the children will only learn if I allow him to crack a safe after every sessions, he taught me.” I said indirectly answering his question.

They were silent for a moment.

“Do we have a deal?” I asked to sped things along.

“Hell yeah!” The third man said sticking his head through the door.

Short story: Write a scene that begins with: “It was the first time I killed a man.”

Write a scene that begins with: “It was the first time I killed a man.”

“It was the first time I killed a man.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she looked across with a mixture of fear and relief.

There was no judgment on her face, so young and seemingly innocent, she held my gaze, her grey eyes almost shinning as she nodded, eyes aged beyond her years, childhood not something she would ever experience.

“It will not be your last, many more must die before and even then you may never know what peace is,”

So much death,’ she thought looking away, ‘too much.

“You fear that you will become a killer because of the life you took and the ones you intend to take.”

“That is not why I am afraid –”

“You enjoyed it?”

She met that level gaze again, and watched for a reaction as she spoke her next words.

“I felt nothing, there was some justice at ridding the world of evil but I am still waiting for the guilt, the horror of the act, anything.”

No reaction and she looked away.

“You are afraid –”

“Weren’t you listening?” She said hotly, “I don’t feel anything!”

“No, you are afraid that what happened to you has changed you irrevocably, that even when you wish to you can no longer feel emotion. They changed you and that change cannot be undone.”

She looked back to see tears gleaming in that grey gaze and wanted to turn away from the emotion but she stared, fascinated.

She reached a hand out to touch the tear, a barrier of resistance as her hand met with its reflection.

Sickle Cell Strong

I have really amazing news which I want to share with everyone!

I am one year hospital admissions free! #Sicklestrong

As I am sure you all know I have sickle-cell anaemia an inherited blood disorder. Red blood cells which are round and soft become hard and sickle shaped, this causes a multitude of problems such as painful crisis, organ damage and organ failure, extreme fatigue, strokes, swelling of extremities, bacterial infection and may lead to death.

Through the years I have struggled with having sickle-cell, there has been many ups and downs, bouts of depression in dealing with a life long illness but it has taught me many lessons, some hard but always necessary in making me the person that I am today and despite not realising it at the time I am grateful for everything I have been through.

It is a credit to all I have learnt and the support system around me that has kept me out of hospital this year. In my lifetime there has never been a full year without me being admitted to hospital, every year since I was born I am admitted to hospital five or six times a year from one to six weeks at a time.

I had enough of always being sick and I have tried different things throughout the years. But last year I decided to try something different subtle. I kept meditating, I tried to eat a little healthier but the main thing I have changed is drinking alkaline water. It has revolutionised my life, I drink four litres of it every day and it works! It really works. I am not saying I have not been sick for a year, I still get daily pain, and ‘mini-crisis’ every few months but the really bad crisis that I used to get has gone. I know it is not forever but I have enjoyed a year without once having to deal with that level of pain and I am beyond grateful. I am looking forward to more healthier days ahead.