Write a scene that begins with: “It was the first time I killed a man.”
“It was the first time I killed a man.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she looked across with a mixture of fear and relief.
There was no judgment on her face, so young and seemingly innocent, she held my gaze, her grey eyes almost shinning as she nodded, eyes aged beyond her years, childhood not something she would ever experience.
“It will not be your last, many more must die before and even then you may never know what peace is,”
‘So much death,’ she thought looking away, ‘too much.’
“You fear that you will become a killer because of the life you took and the ones you intend to take.”
“That is not why I am afraid –”
“You enjoyed it?”
She met that level gaze again, and watched for a reaction as she spoke her next words.
“I felt nothing, there was some justice at ridding the world of evil but I am still waiting for the guilt, the horror of the act, anything.”
No reaction and she looked away.
“You are afraid –”
“Weren’t you listening?” She said hotly, “I don’t feel anything!”
“No, you are afraid that what happened to you has changed you irrevocably, that even when you wish to you can no longer feel emotion. They changed you and that change cannot be undone.”
She looked back to see tears gleaming in that grey gaze and wanted to turn away from the emotion but she stared, fascinated.
She reached a hand out to touch the tear, a barrier of resistance as her hand met with its reflection.