I know I said I would post the recording of Heart Problems up, but due to technical difficulties I was unable to, I am still working out the kinks but hopefully it shall be posted up shortly.
As promised my new play: The Inspectors Office.
The Inspectors Office
Scene 1: Interrogation Room 1 at City of London Police Station, 182 Bishopsgate
INSPECTOR LEE: (condescending – enunciates every syllable) Bring them in Jonny one by one – actually I’ll say it nice, and slow and simple for your real slow mind to understand. Don’t use your head, do as I tell you, we could use my head instead of yours, it’s got a masters, it should to compensate for your lacking.
JONNY: (soft hesitant voice) Yes Sir, I hear you Sir, I was just going to say that –
INSPECTOR LEE: Jonathan! How long have you been here!
JONNY: (starts off hesitant) Well sir, I’ve been here for nearly 4 months sir, got myself promoted just last week sir
INSPECTOR LEE: O really 4 months already, and what have you learnt in those 4 months?
JONNY: Well I’ve erm learnt –
INSPECTOR LEE: Let me tell you what you’ve learnt; to follow my orders and –
JONNY: Well sir, I did –
INSPECTOR LEE: Don’t interrupt me Jonny. In fact I don’t want you to talk –
JONNY: But sir –
INSPECTOR LEE: (loudly) No! Not even if the Prime Minister walked in and told you I was going to be knighted, not even if your girlfriend breaks up with you and your upset and want to talk; not then, not know, not ever.
JONNY: Well yes sir but –
INSPECTOR LEE: Jonny, what did I tell you about talking?
JONNY: Erm, well sir, you said I should…
INSPECTOR LEE: What was that Jonny?
JONNY: Not do it sir. And I won’t! I will be tight-lipped. The best partner you ever had sir, but sir –
INSPECTOR LEE: Jonny!
JONNY: Sir yes sir! Not A word Sir! I will go and get the next witness sir!
FX: Jonny’s footsteps can be heard on the floor, a heavy sounding door swings shut as Jonny exits, then swings open again as Siobhan walks in, her high heels can be heard clicking loudly on the metal floor. She drags the chair opposite Lee out; it produces a very noisy sound as it is scraped against the surface of the floor. The jingling of her bracelets can be heard from when she first enters until she sits down. The walk from the door to the chair is very short.
INSPECTOR LEE: (calmly) Siobhan, why am I not surprised to see you here. So tell me what you saw on the night –
SIOBHAN: Don’t give me attitude Lee, yeah. All I wana say is that I didn’t see nothing or nobody or no one – ain’t nothing gona make me talk. I ain’t a squealer. Hell I just got out and I look way to cute to go back in, shoo.
INSPECTOR LEE: Siobhan calm down will you, just calm down. No one said anything about you going back inside. I just want to know what you saw.
SIOBHAN: Nothing! I didn’t see nada, neit, non, nothing. (Pause) so when do I get my money? Cause you know you’re lucky I am even speaking to your trifling ass – after what you did to me –
INSPECTOR LEE: (raised voice) Jonny get her out of here!
FX: Jonny rushes in – the door swings open, soft padding of Jonny shoes against the floor.
SIOBHAN: (Grunts – sassy voice) O uh-uh, after no money! Dressing up – looking all cute to come down here, waking up early to travel down here, leaving my street corner empty for you. No don’t you touch me! I know you can’t afford this on what he is paying you!
JONNY: (whispers) Come on Siobhan
FX: Siobhan bracelets and bangles and jingling loudly, as Jonny places a hand on her, pulling her slightly. Her chair is scraped violently across floor as she gets up to leave. Siobhan grunts and curses. Two sets of footsteps can be heard as they both leave. The door swings closed.
INSPECTOR LEE: (sighs in exasperation)
FX: Lee drinks a glass of water; he then shuffles the papers on his desk. The Door opens again, The Lawyer walks in his shoes barely making a sound as he makes his way over to the chair, which he sits in, sound of the chair very gently being scrapped in.
INSPECTOR LEE: (Clears throat then speaks in a voice of forced calm) So what did you see?
LAWYER: What did you think I could see?
INSPECTOR LEE: Listen mate, I’m not here to mess around. Did you or did you not see anything on the night of August 27th at nine fifty five, at the corner of Saint Mary Axe?
LAWYER: Maybe I saw something, maybe I didn’t. I need to know how much money I’m getting first – it’s not easy out there.
INSPECTOR LEE: No? (Incredulous) For a sleaze ball like you I am sure times must not be hard at all. Don’t think I don’t see you selling those knock-off watches down in the old pub –
LAWYER: (Indignant) Hey! Hey I don’t come in here judging you yeah. Its business, business is business and will always be business right. So I need to know my cut, see that’s the Lawyer in me talking. You know what I am saying?
INSPECTOR LEE: (Loudly) This isn’t a business wise guy! You tell me what happened and I’ll decide not to arrest you for fraud. How’s that for business.
LAWYER: Well then maybe I did see something; know what I mean. But it was on the 26th – now if you need any information on the 26th – I’m your guy, will that interest you?
INSPECTOR LEE: (Raised voice) Jonny! Get this maestro out of here!
FX: Door swings open, light footsteps of Jonny can be heard as he makes his way to The Lawyer. Jonny places a hand on the Lawyer.
LAWYER: (Indignant) Hey, hey watch the suit it’s the best knock-off Italian you’ll ever see. Hey I said watch it, I ought’ta press charges
JONNY: (Softly) Sorry ‘bout this…
LAWYER: Yeah you will be sorry! (Voice drowns out))
FX: The Lawyer brushes Jonny’s arm away and gets up, slight scrapping of the chair, Jonny places his hand back on the Lawyer a rustling of the lawyers clothes can be heard as he straightens out his suit. Two sets of footsteps heard as they leave the door swings closed. The door is immediately opened again and closed; Margaret enters she moves very slowly to the chair a light clicking of heels can be heard as she walks. A light scraping of the chair on the floor as Margret sits down.